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J. LaMore Magazine

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Remnents of legendary party discovered!

There is nothing better than a large archaeological discovery. You know, the ones of non-legendary proportions where scientists from all over one college gather together and ooh & ahh over the lack of evidence...What a bunch'a geeks!

<--Researcher identifies a tool used to communicate the desire to get hickeys.

According to reliable sources, a huge party was discovered along an area of train tracks in Sydney, Australia near where Julie lives that spanned more than 60 feet. Evidence of this extraordinary find is being collected for later examination even as I write this story. From the evidence gathered so far, the party is being described as "one freak'n blowout." Nothing on record indicates a party of such breadth and magnitude has ever occurred in this area before or since Julie arrived. This party find has been dated as far back as the late February period of 2010.

Judging by the vast array of evidence including empty containers of alcohol and artifacts of women's clothing that have been left behind, this party was truly a "balls-out rager." Evidence of a woman named "Julie" has been discovered and it appears that she was a leader or a party organizer, or at least someone with exceptional partying skills who had those skills passed down to her from siblings from the northern hemisphere.

Along with beer cans, cigarette butts, and contraceptive devices, fake ID's were found all over the area. There is also evidence of hickeys either being given or received although no reliable firsthand evidence is available to confirm that assumption at this time.

This 'Ausie' party had longevity as it appears from the cold weather gear left behind as well as ping pong balls which indicate a drinking game and the distinct odor of sun tan oil spiked the air which indicates a tribe or at least one person from Wisconsin was present and not used to warm weather drinking and puking off balcony's. The "Julie" tribe is evidence of the items found as she can party on any hemisphere.

The party evidence and artifacts will be sent to various colleges around the world and used to help identify partying habits and rituals from other female drinkers and organizers.

Jim (for Julie to show how much I miss having her around)
jlamore.com

2 comments:

Jules said...

I love it Jim. Hilarious! Gosh, who knew you could tease me from across the world?! I can only imagine what you would put me through if we were friends on facebook. Hahaha!

Anonymous said...

This is very funny!

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