Milk a what?

Hi friends! It's me again; the liar and, well. . . . liar will have to do for now.

I recently wrote an article in February advising that Lindsay Lohan turned down a cool $150,000 to show up at the Vienna Opera because she was on a shopping spree and missed her flight. In that same article I indicated that I would never write another article about Lindsay Lohan. Well it's obvious that I lied because here's another one!

It's been reported that Lohan is suing E-Trade for the Super Bowl commercial they aired where the hip little baby boy is trading stocks like a wolf and somehow forgot to call his girlfriend the night before. He's talking to her on what appears to be a webcam and the little girlfriend wants to know if that 'milkaholic Lindsay was over there. . . !' The little boy stammers and pauses when another little girl (Lindsay) enters from the left and says "Milk-a-what?" It's a very funny commercial as are all the E-Trade commercials but somehow Lindsay Lohan has determined because the name "Lindsay" is used, E-Trade is referring to Lohan as being the milkaholic. What-the-what?

Lohan has now filed a $100 million lawsuit on Monday at the Nassau County Supreme Court over the ad. Can anyone say tort reform? No wonder she couldn't make it to Vienna, she was plotting this scam the entire time.

The actress' lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, claims Lohan's first name is just as recognizable as other single-word monikers used by stars such as Madonna and Cher. That's wishfull thinking. I thought she was known as "Lilo."

Ovadia says, "Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay. They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."

Just so you know, I wasn't talking about it and I like to think I'm part of "everybody!" If they used the name Susan then Susan Sarandon could sue them, couldn't she? Based on this argument I think if you picked any name someone could file a suit, couldn't they? Can you sue based on a subliminal message? This is not a winner!

Ok! This could go on forever, but, ". . . as a parody of her life?" So because Lohan has been in rehab just about as many times as Robert Downey Jr., being a milkaholic is somehow a parody? How is this a parody on anyone's life? The babies are at least one years old you shankapotomus!

The company that wrote and produced the ad said that they used the name Lindsay because it was the name of one of the group members assigned to the project and that Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with it.

When you can't act anymore and you missed the flight to Vienna I guess you have to do something for attention and a little income. I think E-Trade should counter sue saying that Lohan has now attached her name to E-Trade which is bad for business and this has caused a loss of sales. Hey, don't laugh! I'll bet my case is stronger than hers!

Jim