New Moms..Stay at home!!
Hi everyone! I am still here, down in sweltering Miami. I check up on everyone very often, but am very busy with my 3 kiddos... speaking of kiddos, I just have to respond to Clare's blog about new moms returning to work. I personally struggled with the issue of career woman vs. mom, and "why can't I have it all?" I used to say things like I am going to do what I want to do and "nothing, not even a baby, is going to stand in my way." I used to think that the lectures that my grandma would give me about the "sacrifices" I should make to stay at home with my kids because it was best for them were so "old fashioned". I looked down upon my own Mom, who stayed at home with us and did not have a career.
While I was dating my now-husband, I began to think about the future, raising children, and my career path. After MUCH soul-searching, I realized this: like it or not, I am a woman. Therefore, I bear the children if we choose to do so. As a woman, I, personally, am a nurturing, loving, mothering human being. If I choose to raise a family by bearing children, one of the two will suffer: my career or my children. I am an achiever, and like to be successful in my endeavors. I had to choose. Which was more important to me? My future children, or my career? I chose my children. I do have a job. I work night-shift on the weekends as an RN so that my husband can stay with my kids. Do I enjoy working 7pm-7am on a Saturday night? Absolutely not- but, grandma, I now understand what you meant by making "sacrifices" for your children. I also highly respect my Mom for staying home with us.. believe me it AIN'T EASY!!!! (ask my husband- he did it last week for 5 days and couldn't wait to get back to work)
I applaud women who have made names for themselves in the workplace. I don't think every woman should be a stay-at-home mom. I love that I was given the choice to pursue a career or raise children, and I have those women at the top to thank.
I understand that some women don't have a choice whether or not to stay home. It scares me to death to see women being rewarded, actually PROMOTED, for taking shorter maternity leaves. We should be moving in the opposite direction!! Families should be supported in the workplace with LONGER paid maternity leaves, on-site childcare, breastfeeding rooms, etc. I believe, and this may piss some people off, that if you are not willing to let anything stand in your way in order to advance your career, "not even a baby", then you shouldn't have a baby!!! Go for it, girl! Pursue your career all the way to the top! But please don't bring a child into this world that you don't want to "stop you from doing what you want to do."
So, Clare, I guess I answered your question, rather vehemently I suppose, "how do women today handle their career and motherhood?" I felt the answers you were given were rather one-sided, and I felt I had to put a few words in for those 24/7 moms who never seem to get enough credit.
Amanda in Miami
PS- This is a fairly recent picture of my 3 future-fashionistas!
