Google Apologizes for Privacy Issues

Hi friends! I'm relieved to announce that search engine giant and ruler of the world, Google, has officially apologized for violations of what many thought were privacy concerns. Oh C'mon!

Jlamore.com is a user of Google and the Mountain view company released a statement acknowledging the sensitive issues and vowed to never do it again. Phhhhht! Yeah, right!

Friday's apology comes after the controversial launch of Google Buzz, a social networking platform that publicly linked Gmail users to their most e-mailed contacts by default.

"I'd like nothing more than to apologize in person to everyone we've let down, but as you can see, many of our users are rarely home at this hour," said Google co founder and president Sergey Brin, pointing to several Google Map street-view shots of empty bedroom and living room windows on a projection screen behind him. "And, if last night's searches are any indication, Sydney, Australia student Julie, is probably out shopping right now for beer using the money she collected from her six friends who are getting ready to throw an Ausie bash based on the flayers Gina, Sally, Leigh, and Linda printed on the HP printer in the rec center. Julie, you recently promised your dad that you would behave. We have the copy right here in front of us."

While admitting that security measures need to improve, Google officials also claimed that everyone makes mistakes, be it storing confidential data indefinitely or, say, "having a few too many drinks on the evening of Jan. 23, driving home in a drunken haze, using fake ID's and sneaking into a boys dorm on the corner of Landon and Lake St, and then desperately searching online the next day for the best way to hide any and all reminders of the previous night. Right, Julie?"

"Americans have every right to be angry at us," Google spokesperson Janet Kemper told reporters. "Though perhaps Julie from jlamore.com should just take a few deep breaths and go sit in the hallway and relax, like they tell her to do at the "boy-crazy-anonymous" classes she attends over at the Sydney, Australia Human Resource Center every Tuesday night." "Breathe in, breathe out," Kemper added. "We wouldn't want you to have another try-to-hide-the-hickey incident, Julie. Not when you've been doing so well."

Well friends, I'm glad Google apologized because I don't think Julie can take much more! ^_^

Jim
jlamore.com