I don't need the money, . . !

I'm ashamed of myself! No really, I am! I have reached a new low and have written an article on Lindsay Lllllloooo. . . Lo. . . . Lohan. There, I could barely get it out but I said it. Whew! That was a lot of work. Why this woman is a tabloid favorite is beyond me. She's a completely talentless nobody but this little story is too much fun not to write about.

A 77 year old billionaire from Austria, Richard Lugner, was going to pay "Lilo" $150,000 for one night to escort him to the famous Vienna Opera Ball where all she had to do was walk in with him and sit through the show in a private box and sign some autographs. She would have been flown first class to and from Vienna with all expenses paid, including the ball gown, a penthouse hotel stay for two days, and limo service. Wow! Would this be classified as a 'manual labor' job?

Lugner has been doing this for since 1991 with all kinds of notable 'celebs' but it was Lugner's 16 year old daughter who suggested he choose Lohan for this years rent-a-date. So he did. Not so fast old horny one! You may be a shrewd shopping mall tycoon in Europe but now you're dealing with a real Hollywood C-list celeb here, with like, tons of Gucci baggage.

Alas! Lilo couldn't make the event because she missed the flight from LA to London. Rumor has it, and I use the word 'rumor' with as much reckless abandon as Tiger Woods walking into a sorority house, that Lilo was on a shopping spree that couldn't be interrupted. LOL! That is too damn funny! Her parents have to be proud.

Lilo also provided a list of demands for Lugner which included no alcohol anywhere she was and that he must change the date of the event, even though the date has been the same since 1936. C'mon Viagra man, it's Lindsay Lohan for God sake.

The date wasn't changed and lilo missed the event and turned down $150,000. What's a girl gotta do to make a buck these days. Damn! Times are tough!

Please don't hate me for writing about Lindsay Lohan. I promise I'll never do it again.

Jim
jlamore.com