Lindsay Lohan takes down Kombucha

Here we go again! Lindsay Lohan, who has graced this magazine many times for her lifestyle and stupidity, has now gotten even with us for our comments because her ridiculousness has now affected how all of us live. I'm serious friends! Her ridiculous life, as well as the silly obsession our culture has with celebrities, have now caused grocery stores around the country to pull Kombucha off the shelves. WE LOVE KOMBUCHA, and now it's gone because of Lohan.

Here's the scoop! Lohan, who is on probation for drinking along with a whole bunch of stuff had a court appearance in CA where she received a no alcohol order by the court which required Lohan to wear a SCRAM bracelet. A SCRAM bracelet is an Alcohol Monitoring System which stands for Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor. It is worn on the ankle and measures the subject’s blood alcohol level through perspiration on the skin.

Knowing she cannot drink alcohol anymore and wanting to replace it with a healthier habit, Lindsay Lohan started drinking Kombucha. Kombucha is a fermented beverage made of tea bacteria cultures. For over 2,000 years people in Asia have been drinking Kombucha for its purported medicinal benefits which include: improving immunity, aiding digestion, and improving liver function. Because Kombucha is fermented, it does contain trace amounts of alcohol.

Apparently, this set off Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM device. I don’t know about you, but I have to wonder if Lindsay went on a bender and is simply blaming the Kombucha for it. However, it happened, it has caused an uproar in the industry.

Millennium Products Inc. has voluntarily pulled its products to determine what the exact level of alcohol in a typical bottle is. Rumour has it that some of them contain as much as 1.5% alcohol by volume. This, while still a relatively small amount, is high enough to require a government warning. The government requires any product containing .5 percent or higher to carry the warning. Currently most Kombucha products are labeled as having “trace amounts of alcohol”, not a sufficient label if the amount is more than .5 percent. Whole Foods Market has pulled all of it’s Kombucha products including Millennium’s GT and Coke’s Honest T varieties until this issue is resolved.

In the meantime, I’m stuck without my Kombucha Buzz. I’m considering brewing my own. Lindsay, you’ve ruined it for all of us.

J. LaMore