A great story from the bitchy waiter. . . !

Hi friends and fellow bloggers.  One of the few blogs I follow is "The Bitchy Waiter" out of New York.  I strongly suggest you follow this blog and enjoy yourself.  He is too funny and this is my kind of humor.  Here's a story posted the other day that I thoroughly enjoyed.

At work a few days ago I came across an ethical dilemma. One of those moments where you have to make a split decision about something and the choice is not an easy one to make. The wrong decision can change a life. Should I do what is right or should I do what is easy? It was a very busy night and I had a lot of drinks to get out before the show started in five minutes. The bar was a sea of cocktails waiting for me to carry them to their rightful owners. As I headed to table 42 (Or at least I think it's 42. I don't really know those table numbers back there. You know, the one in the corner?), the ethical dilemma presented itself. On my tray was a Diet Coke (Diet Pepsi, really...), one glass of pinot grigio and two Bloody Mary's.
Waiting for me at the bar were about ten other drinks that were watering down like the polar ice caps. Two feet away from table 42, I noticed that one of the Bloody Mary's had some thing floating on the top of it. That thing was a mosquito. Or maybe it was a gnat. It for sure wasn't a fly. Well, if it was a fly it was a really small one. My mind flashed. In about one second, this is what flew through my head:

Oh my God, is that a bug? That's a bug. F***, that's a bug and now I have to go all the way back to the bar and get another Bloody Mary. Shit. I don't have time to go back to the bar to get another Bloody Mary because the show is about to start. Maybe it's not a bug. Maybe it's a leaf from the celery. No, it's definitely a bug. And we don't even put celery in our Bloody Mary. F***, just give it to them, maybe they won't notice. No, that's wrong. F*** it. No that's wrong. F*** it. No that's wrong. F*** it, it's candlelight, they'll never see it. No, that's wrong. I can't do that.

I looked at the two people who ordered the Bloody Mary's and tried to decide which one would be the least likely to notice the happily drowning insect in their beverage. The wife was old but pretty sharp. But then I noticed the husband. He had on a hearing aid and my reasoning was that if he was hard of hearing he probably had some failing eyesight too. So down went the Bloody Mary in front of the Old Man. I also conveniently moved the candle away from him to ensure bad lighting. I based my decision on what would make my life easier, and do I feel bad about it? You bet I do. I think it worked out though. He ordered a second one. I brought it to him without the fly, gnat, mosquito insecty thing.

Jim
J. LaMore